Sorry, but there is no Japanese word for…

As a blogger, one of the most fascinating aspects of the whole process is how people find this blog. As many of you already know, when I want to, I can check to see how people have found GBUJ. What I have learned is that most people finding this are looking for Japanese language lessons. (The JET Program is a very close #2!) Now, while I was happy to teach people some useful expressions, in this post I thought I would focus on what can’t be said in Japanese. In some cases this is a good thing and in other cases this is not. As I explain, you will see why.

For example, there is no Japanese word for “privacy.” Simply put, there is very little of it in Japan and therefore the lack of a term. Now some of you may argue that there is “privacy” in katakana, but as I have explained before, I don’t think katakana helps. Not at all! In short, there is little privacy in Japan. One result, of course, being that the little privacy that people do have becomes really really important! Oddly enough, a “privacy” law was enacted a few years ago and for the most part it is useless (and even dangerous) as people in Japan don’t really know what is private and personal and what isn’t.

Two other loan words that are widely misunderstood in Japan are “humanism” and “globalism.” Currently, in my line of work, the former is a catchphrase that is espoused at any given opportunity. The problem, it is also in katakana, and I can’t believe that any two people in Japan have the same definition of the word – or even care for that matter. Of course, as many longterm residents will attest to, “humanism” is only applicable to people of Japanese nationality. Other nationalities aren’t human! Globalism in Japan means what is best for “Japan” more or less.

Another omission from the Japanese lexicon is “business.” I think this also applies to capitalism and democracy. While business is always in katakana, the other two do have Japanese translations, i.e. they can be written in kanji. My issue with all three words is that since business, capitalism, and democracy aren’t actually practiced in Japan, how can they really be defined and used as they are outside Japan? Now in some ways this is a good thing and not just a complaint. (Actually I have never written a complaint about Japan, just made observations!) But reading the news on a daily basis has taught me time and time again that there are few people in Japan who know what democracy means and how it should be practiced. Having said this though, the Japanese forms of “business,” “capitalism,” and “democracy,” have helped insulate it from a lot of the abuses that occur in countries like the USA. The subprime loan mess is a perfect example! It wouldn’t happen in Japan as the bottom line in Japan isn’t only about money. It is more about who you know and who “you” are! (See my post from a few moths ago.)

Anyway, I thought I would teach you a little about Japanese that really doesn’t exist IMHO. While some readers may think that I am making this up or being overly pessimistic about life in Japan. Actually, I am just telling it like I see it! And in my defense, I would use the word “baseball” as an example. There is no “baseball” in Japan. It is called “yakkyu” and as many have seen for themselves, yakkyu and baseball are not always the same! And I am not saying one is better than the other, but at least people in Japan went to the trouble of making a word for it in Japanese and not using katakana to make yet another regularly misunderstood loan word.

Thanks for reading,

GBUJ

Motivation in Japan: One word – Jealousy!(Part one)

This week I will share one of the worst kept secrets about people in Japan, i.e. jealousy, and the ramifications for everyday life.

Now I am not sure how you were raised, but in my upbringing jealousy was a sin. However, in Japan, I am pretty sure it ranks right up there with favorite pastimes such as running to catch a train, slurping noodles, or working unpaid overtime. In fact, one of the most common expressions in Japan is “ii na” – often pronounced “iiiiiii naaaa” for emphasis. This expression is used when someone is envious of what someone else has or is doing. However, depending on the situation, many native speakers of Japanese will do all they can to deflect the envy – while secretly gloating inside. See, being the object of jealousy means being set up for a downfall. Whether it is politics, business, the Japanese world of entertainment, or simply ones neighbors, being envied almost always means being brought down to size – often with a considerable amount of pain and embarrassment. In a way, people and institutions in Japan are their worst enemy! Watching the daily news is more or less a lesson in watching someone being set up as “special” – or the flavor of the day – and then eventually being ripped to shreds. Happens all the time! Which ultimately begs the question, why the fear of foreigners? Who knows? But, no one will ever hurt institutions and people in Japan more than their “hobby” of looking for someone to be jealous of and then destroying them.

So how did I come about this knowledge? Was it personal experience? No. More than 15 years ago I worked for a woman who worked for Ferragamo – the fashion house. Like most enlightening experiences it also consisted of a lot of pain. Ever seen the “Devil Wears Prada?” My boss was exactly the same! But even to this day, lessons I learned from her still “help” me. One of which was the culture of jealousy in Japan and how it works. My boss, for example, thought anyone who wanted to be “famous” on TV in Japan was an idiot. She probably could have been with her style, knowledge, and background in fashion, but  she absolutely refused. Staying ”under the radar,” she said, was so important. And over the years I have seen that it is very true! When I asked what motivated consumers in Japan to spend so much money on brand-name goods in Japan she said it in one word – JEALOUSY. For many people (not everyone obviously) nothing will drive them nuts more than seeing Tiffany, Gucci, or Louis Vuitton on their friend. They will absolutely need to have something equal or better, i.e. more prestigious and expensive - whether they need it or not. But then you would say that doesn’t make sense, and you would be exactly right! Like I have said in previous posts, logic is not a value in Japan and this is a perfect example.

In short, thinking of selling your product in Japan? Simply get people jealous of one another over it and it will sell like hotcakes!

Thanks for reading,

GBUJ 

If English is the North Pole, Japanese is the South!

Over the years, I have come to realize why English is a challenge for so many people in Japan. Whether it is pronunciation, grammar, sentence or argument construction, or listening comprehension, there are so many facets of the English language that will always baffle even the hardest-working student. In this entry I will review some of the reasons for their issues with the language and hopefully provide some insights into the Japanese language, too.

As many are probably aware of, pronunciation of English is a real issue for people in Japan. The reasons for this are two-fold: interference from the Japanese language and katakana. Now you may say that katakana is a part of the Japanese language, but I don’t think so. But that is for another entry.

In general, vowels are everything in the Japanese language. By this I mean that if you make even the slightest error with a vowel, you will most likely change the meaning of what you are trying to say. Even among native speakers of Japanese this is difficult at times. English on the other hand could care less about the correct pronunciation of vowels. Americans in particular love the sound “a.” Every vowel in English can be pronounced as “a” at one time or another. For people in Japan nothing could be more confusing or infuriating! Generally speaking, the way one spells Japanese is exactly the way it is pronounced. Being from America and fluent in Japanese, I still find myself having troubles with pronunciation. I have a habit of wanting to ignore the correct pronunciation of Japanese. On the other hand, in the Japanese language, no one cares about consonants. L or R, B or V, they are all the same. But in English, the correct pronunciation of consonants is vitally important. In this respect one could say that Japanese and English are kind of inverses of one another. The same applies to using the language.

The best teachers I have ever had the pleasure of studying under all had one thing in common: the value of proper and easily understood communication. Whether on paper or in front of a crowd, “simple is best” was the lesson to be learned. If you could write something in 20 words and not use 30 – then the former sentence was always preferable. If you started speaking thinking first of your audience and fitting your speech to their level, that was the sign of an excellent communicator. In Japan, this is either the sign of a simpleton or a super genius – I have been referred to as both. Why? Because in Japanese thinking of the listener is the last thing on someone’s “to-do list.” For many people in Japan the onus of comprehension is entirely on the listener and not on the speaker. Now there are some exceptions to be made due to gender, age, and power relations,  but in my experience if someone can’t be understood, that’s their problem. The speaker has very responsibility for the situation. Again, English and Japanese are the opposite.

How about arguments or formal debate? In English they can be thought of as very structured and straightforward. There are rules and logic and values to being able to argue one’s opinion and change other people’s minds. In Japanese, I am not so sure. Again, in the culture of a language where the responsibility for communication is on the listener, then being able to clearly, logically, and concisely communicate is not “proper” communication. Therefore, many of you studying with the intent to speak fluent Japanese in order to communicate all of your opinions and ideas, could very well be wasting your time. It is sad but true. You needn’t be good at Japanese to communicate. Many people in Japan will try very earnestly to comprehend your broken Japanese or English.

So what does a “logical” argument in Japanese comprise of? In a word – whatever the old man thinks is important. Whether there are any facts to support his claims, whether he is making an objective assessment, whether he is speaking from personal experience, is all besides the point! You cannot imagine how many windbags are on TV in Japan and spout anything they feel like. The best is when they just start screaming at one another. That is “debate” in Japan. One of the best examples for you non-believers out there is a TV show called “TV Tackle.” Every Monday evening from 9:00 P.M. the oyajis, geezers (usually politicians), convene around a semi-circle and yell at one another. No one listens to anyone and it is the epitome of “communication” in Japan. Rush Limbaugh looks like a civilized person in comparison – that is how bad it gets!

In the end, people from Japan will find a language pronounced extremely differently from the way it is written and logically spoken with the listener first taken into consideration a puzzle wrapped inside an enigma and so on.

Thanks for reading,

GBUJ

Working in Japan: 10 Ways to Earn Respect

Last summer I had the pleasure of addressing about 30 young people who were coming to Japan to work. They were all in the JET Program. For those who are unfamiliar with this program, in a nutshell it is Japan’s effort at easing the trade imbalance between the States (and other countries?) and Japan. I mean, it is a program whereby young people (older people with experience aren’t allowed) come to Japan and work as assistant English teachers in junior and senior high schools. It started in the late 1980s and pretty much has been a complete failure in terms of educational goals and English education curriculum. But that isn’t really the focus of this entry. Rather I wish to focus on what I said to these young people right out of Narita airport. Basically, I gave a presentation on what to expect in the participants’ upcoming year in Japan and how to avoid certain traps and cultural landmines awaiting them. In no particular order here are the words of advice I imparted:

• Dress code: Basically coming from the States, Canada, the UK, and so on, you have slipped back in time. English teachers in Japan, in particular, are some of the most conservative people I have ever met. You will be expected to look like a teacher, i.e. wearing a suit. Whether you can teach or not is besides the point. Just have to look like a teacher.

For women, this means no nipples (nothing could freak out Japanese people – especially the men - more than “weather knobs!” Also skirt length (below the knees is preferable) and never any tattoos!

For men, invest in undershirts! You will sweat here (especially since very few schools will have air conditioners) and turning all of your white shirts yellow can add up in terms of dry cleaning. Save a ton of money and get the non-iron shirts from Brooks Brothers! The best buy ever!

• Classroom etiquette: The worst thing you could do is sit on a desk. Well, no that’s not exactly right. “Disrespecting” a textbook, dropping it on the floor, stepping on it, etc…  is probably just as bad if not worse. Never forget that everything you do, every movement, every gesture, everything will be watched and “judged” by your audience.

• Don’t try to speak Japanese in the classroom. Even if your Japanese is excellent, you are not here for your Japanese skills, you are there for your knowledge of English. Well, actually you are here just because Toyota sells too many cars in the States and other countries – you’ll see what I mean after about a week. I don’t think there are too many other cultures in the world were people will most likely make fun of you for trying to speak their language. Butchering the Japanese language will not earn you any respect in Japan.

• Don’t try to “fix” anything. You are a guest, a visitor, in general a nobody. Yes you may have studied education (even in graduate school) and have a teaching license from your home country, but that means absolutely nothing here. Believe it or not there is “a way” things are done here and you being here for even a year or two means absolutely nothing. I have been here 17 years and I survive by generally keeping my mouth shut.

• If you sincerely care about what others here think of you, learn a martial art or some other art specific to Japan. Big brownie points! Orgasmic in some cases. I speak Japanese fluently  – no big deal. I have a degree from Columbia – it’s OK. I bought a nice house in the center of Tokyo at the age of 32 – that impresses. But being a 4th degree blackbelt (going on 5) – nothing gets more oohs and aahs. Remember time here is thought of differently. 40 is our 20 and maybe after trying to perfect your “craft” after 50 years – then you can say you know something.

• “Part two”concerning your appearance (part one was the dress code above): You can’t change. A friend of a friend was ordered by her boss to return her hair color to its “original” blond, even though she was a true brunette. Rationale – it would be too “shocking” for students to see that she wasn’t really a blond. Be ready for people to point out all kinds of changes you make. The top of everyone’s list, without a doubt, is your weight. It seems like this is on everyone’s mind all the time in this country. If you are the least bit weight conscious – don’t come to Japan! I can not tell you how many times I have people (even friends) come up and say, “you gained weight, haven’t you” or the always flattering “you are fat.”  Actually this was like the third point I raised in my presentation and I think half of the kids were ready to return home already! Japan has a lot of “weight Nazis” – be prepared!

• Be ready to have tons of smoke blown up your ass. It is an art form here in Japan. Don’t give much credence to the majority of what people say to you. Flattery is a national pastime and most people know it for what it is –  BS. I can’t tell you how many times I have been praised for being able to use chopsticks, speaking the language, eating anything put in front of me, knowing obvious historical facts and figures, and so on…. I am by no means special but if I believed everything I have been told over the years, I’d think I was the second coming of Jesus. (Unfortunately, there are many non-Japanese who believe everything they are told and it does go to their head – they often have serious issues when they learn they can’t walk on water!)

• Don’t be surprised if people want to know everything about you. You will be treated as a kind of “rock-star” and in return you will be asked all kinds of questions – most of them highly personal. Ironically, many of the questions about love life, the other sex, and so on… would be taboo questions for most people in Japan. I will never forget a visiting professor asking a student about where she went out on weekends and with whom. The student in particular turned beet red in the face (probably out of fear and embarrassment) and the other students and myself cringed. I never bring up relationships with 99% of the people I know in Japan. It just isn’t talked about! But, they will ask you anyway. Go figure!

• Don’t make any observations about physicality. People in Japan know they are vertically challenged with stubby legs and extremities and unusually long torsos and some monstrous “heeds” (Hideki Matsui of the NY Yankees has like the 2nd largest melon in the majors – and he isn’t that big!) they don’ t need to be reminded. Observe, note, but keep it to yourself.

Lastly, after people got somewhat over the shock of what I was saying, I think I fielded a question or two about work in Japan. In Japan working long and not smart is a kind of virtue. The example I used was Michael Scott from “The Office.” (God I love that show! – You’ll read why in a minute.) In one episode he is complaining to the camera that Jim does such and such a job in only 30 minutes. The same job takes Michael 8 hours to accomplish. So in Michael’s mind, Jim is not a hard worker and he is. I would say that most of the people you come in contact with in Japan will be variations (only slightly different) of Michael Scott. I even used his picture in my Powerpoint slides. Love the show because even 7,000 miles away on the other side of the planet I feel everyone’s pain from “The Office!” If you can’t handle that TV show, you will undoubtedly hate your time in Japan!

         Sorry to have gotten out of hand with this one, but I thought it would be of interest to some of you.

         Thanks for reading,

          GBUJ

A Loaded Question in Japanese: Who are You?

Something that I have learned over my many years in Japan is that introducing yourself the wrong way is often times the kiss of death to a meeting, business or otherwise. Explaining who you are is much more important and much more challenging than many would suspect. Generally speaking, I am not sure if there is even a singular connotation to the word “you” – anata, in Japanese. In Japanese, a self-introduction starts big (as in what part of the country you come from, then which school/university you attended, then your company, then your club activity, then your family name, and lastly your first name) and then gets more and more personal. As most speakers of English would not start to introduce themselves with their nationality, this probably accounts for the thousands of times I (or any other non-Japanese) have been asked where I am from. Even having become integrated into the culture, I can’t do it. But, I am not an idiot either. I do mention my employer, my martial art experience and dan – degree of expertise, and various other “markers” when meeting someone for the first time. For in a way, Japanese are much more aware of social classes than non-Japanese are. All of those markers I mention above also give the Japanese speaker reference points in which to try to find a connection to relate to the speaker. This is often the real reason for the need for so much information when introducing onesself. So, what are the ramifications? Well, even if someone comes to Japan, speaking fluent Japanese, but has no one (or nothing) covering your back, so to say, then the Japanese will see no reason to treat your requests or questions seriously. In my field, I know hundreds of non-Japanese who have been ignored simply because they thought being themselves would be enough. It is probably the single most damaging assumption that a non-Japanese could make when dealing with people in Japan. Take for example Motorola. The company has been in Japan for years, but I will never forget how they got shut out of the mobile phone market way back in 1992. I had a friend working for them and he was saying how NTT (the Japanese phone monopoly at the time) couldn’t compete with the Motorola technology. Whether that is true or not, I don’t know. What I do know is that NTT had the connections in the Japanese government (in other words someone had their back) to stop Motorola’s requests and now all you see is NTT (and a few other Japanese competitors). As for Motorola, the average person in Japan has no idea who they are. They just couldn’t get taken seriously because no one had their back when they were meeting with the powers–that-be in the Japanese government.

In short, when meeting people in Japan, be ready to drop relevant names (places and companies as well as people) and hope that you are seen for who you are and not who you are. You know what I mean?

Oh, and obvious best case scenario? You don’t even introduce yourself. Someone highly respected in the situation/conversation (preferably an older man) does it for you! In which case Japanese ability isn’t even necessary! Go figure.

Thanks for reading,

GBUJ